


Now We Know

by lotsofquestionslimitedanswers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Jack Kline Saves Castiel from the Empty, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:14:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28022256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotsofquestionslimitedanswers/pseuds/lotsofquestionslimitedanswers
Summary: Dean has a nightmare and Cas tries to help.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 13
Kudos: 58





	Now We Know

**Now We Know**

“Dean.”

_Dean’s heart pounds as Castiel smiles and says, “I love you.”_

_Dean freezes. He never thought Cas could love him the way that he loved him. Why does he have to tell him now? Why does he have to tell him when he’s going to lose him forever._

“Dean!”

 _Dean tries to say something, but the words just don’t come out. He watches in horror as The Empty takes Cas. Castiel. The Angel of Thursday_. Dean’s _angel. His best friend. The love of his life._

 _“I love you.” Dean lets out a sob. Of course,_ now _the words come. Now that it’s too late. “I love you.” Dean sinks to the floor._

“Dean! Wake up!”

Dean bolts awake. He looks around. Cas is sitting on the edge of his bed. Dean can’t help it. He launches himself at the angel, hugging him tightly.

Cas hugs Dean back. “It’s okay, Dean.” Cas says.

“No,” Dean fights off a sob. He may have cried in his dream, but he does _not_ want to cry now in front of Cas. “No, it’s _not_. You _died_.”

“Jack brought me back. Remember? It was three days ago. I’m here now. I won’t leave you unless you ask me to.”

Dean remembers. He _did_ cry in front of Cas then. A lot. In Dean’s defense, everyone was crying that day. Sam. Eileen. Jack. Cas. Dean. All of them were holding each other and crying. They were all just so happy to be alive. Together. It didn’t get awkward between Cas and Dean until the day before yesterday. That’s when Dean realized he’d have to say something about Cas’s confession because Cas hadn’t mentioned it. Dean just…he didn’t know what to say. That’s not true. He knows what to say. He has just been too terrified to say it.

“I didn’t say it back.” Dean’s having a harder time holding back tears. “I _still_ haven’t said it.”

Cas stiffens. “You don’t have to say it.”

“I’m so sorry, Cas.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s okay, Dean.”

Dean leans his face against Castiel’s shoulder. His heart is pounding, and he feels like he can’t breathe, but he has to tell him. _He has to_. He has left it unsaid for too long. “You know that I do. Right?”

“Do what?” Cas’s voice is so soft.

“You know that I love you; right?”

“Dean, you don’t have to say it just because I said it.”

Dean pulls away from Cas and tries to make eye-contact, but Cas won’t look at him.

“Cas, I’m not,” Dean starts and stops, searching for better words. “Cas, you’re too important to me for me to lie about this. I would _never_ lie about this. Please look at me.”

Cas slowly looks at Dean.

“You changed me too, you know. That day when we met, and you told me that good things _do_ happen. Well, sure they do. But not often. Not to _me_. Then you came and that changed. Cas, I haven’t had a lot of friends. And I spent most of my life believing I could only love women the way that I love you, but that’s not true. I love you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I am in love with you. I,” Dean sighs. “I think I’ve known since the first time when we went to Purgatory and I couldn’t find you, but I buried it. It’s what I do.” Dean tries to smile, but he can’t. “It’s not funny. It sucks to think about all this wasted time. I hate that I let so much time go by without telling you how I feel. It just…it just happened. And I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Dean. I could’ve said something too.” Tears spill down Cas’s cheeks.

“But now, now we know. I love you. And you love me. Right?” Dean can’t stop the tears from escaping his eyes anymore.

“Yeah,” Cas smiles. It’s a brilliant, beautiful sight. “So…what do we do now?”

“Whatever we want; I guess.” Dean replies. He can’t believe he can really do whatever he wants. He’s free.

Cas’s eyes widen and he whispers, “Can I touch you?”

Dean blinks. No one has ever really _asked_ him that before. “Yeah,” Dean replies.

Castiel reaches out and takes Dean’s face in both hands. Cas’s hands are warm and gentle as he pulls Dean’s face towards his. Dean’s heart pounds as he leans into it. Dean feels a soft kiss on his forehead. Cas whispers, “I love you, Dean Winchester.”

Dean lets out a small sob. “I love you, Castiel. Oh, I love you so much, Cas.”

Cas pulls Dean in again and time they kiss on the lips. It’s wet. They’re both crying a little. But mostly it’s soft and careful, each a little worried he’ll scare the other off. Cas holds Dean’s face in his hands. Dean has his hands in Cas’s hair. They kiss each other gently. Tonight is a night of care and healing. Sex will come in time. Tonight though, Dean wants to be careful with this angel he loves. And the two of them actually have time to take things slow if they so choose. It feels so good to know that they have _time_. Finally.

After minutes, hours, days—Dean doesn’t know; he just knows he feels good here, safe in the hands of his beloved—they pull apart. Dean looks at Cas’s face, worried there might be a hint of regret. There’s not. Cas is beaming. Dean grins at Cas.

It’s really not the time, but Dean can’t help but yawn. He doesn’t mean to. He’s just so sleepy and warm and safe.

Cas smiles. It’s a soft, small smile that makes Dean’s heart stutter. “You’re tired. You should get some rest.” Cas says.

Dean knows he should, but he doesn’t want to. What if he wakes up and Cas isn’t there? What if none of this was real?

“What if this is just a dream?” Dean whispers.

“It’s not a dream, but I could watch over you if that will make you feel better.” Cas offers.

Cas always offers that and it’s always so strange for Dean to hear. He grew up knowing one purpose: watch out for Sammy. Then it was watch out for Sammy _and_ protect the world from monsters. Then it was watch out for Sammy _and_ protect the world from monsters _and_ save the whole fricking world. Over and over and over. But not with Cas. With Cas it’s, _I could watch over you_ and _I could go with you_. Cas always tries to help Dean. Cas watches over Dean.

“I still have trouble accepting that.” Dean admits.

“I know. That’s okay. I’m still here when you need me.”

“Do you really want to stay here tonight?” Dean whispers, not sure why he’s suddenly so shy.

“Of course.”

“I have pj’s in the top drawer,” Dean points at the dresser. “If you want to change into something comfier.”

Cas smiles at Dean. “Thank you.”

Dean looks away so Cas can change. Then Cas is at his side once more. “Where should I go?”

Cas is wearing Dean’s plain blue t-shirt and blue plaid pajamas. There’s something about seeing Cas in Dean’s clothes that makes Dean melt a little.

“Can you turn the light off, please?” Dean asks.

“Okay,” Cas turns the light off and walks back to the bed.

Dean slides under the covers and slides to the end of the bed.

“Okay, now you can crawl in too. I made room.”

They’re lying face-to-face. Dean can just barely make out the outline of Cas’s face. They’re so close. But they’re not touching.

“Dean?” Cas whispers.

“Yeah?” Dean whispers back. Not entirely sure why they’re whispering.

“There’s one thing I’ve wanted to do for a while, but I…I haven’t been able to ask.”

“What is it?”

“Can I…can I hold you? I just…I just really want to hold you in my arms.”

Tears prick Dean’s eyes and he’s not sure why. It’s just spooning. It’s not a big deal. But it is because it’s Cas.

“Yeah,” Dean replies.

“You are upset. Why are you upset?”

“I’m not upset. I’m happy. I’m so happy.” Dean scoots over and buries his face in Castiel’s chest. “Is this how you want us to do it?”

Castiel plants a gentle kiss in Dean’s hair. “Yes.” Cas replies as he wraps his arms around Dean.

Dean snuggles closer to Cas. Dean feels warm and loved and for the first time in a while, he doesn’t have any nightmares.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> I'm @lotsofquestionslimitedanswers on tumblr.  
> Please let me know what you think!


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